Fantasy and TV
by Spacemodbunny
Summary: Zell dreams about his fellow friends in various TV shows!More to come possibly!
1. Default Chapter

Body **After a night of partying at the celebration ball Zell stumbles back into his dorm room, flicking on the TV and turing to Nick at night. He tries to stay awake but he falls asleep while watching the TV** 

BALAMB PLACE 

**Quistis walks in on Squall and Rinoa and stroms out the room upset** 

Quistis- You bitch! 

Rinoa- Quissy it's not what it looks like 

Quistis- You betrayed my trust, I can't take the lying and the running around with Squall! 

**Sad sappy music plays in the backround** 

**Rinoa begins to cry** 

Rinoa- Your my best friend, you can't leave Balamb place! 

Quistis- Yes I can! 

Rinoa- No you can' I'm pregnant with your child 

********************************************** 

TBL 

**A camera zooms in with Irvine dressed like Carson Daly** 

Irvine-Good afternoon and welcome to Total Balamb Live! We are going to talk to the new R&Bgroup Ultimecia's child and get some news from the music industry. To get down to business we are gonna start with Ultimecia's Child and the members Quistis,Xu and Nida! 

**Crowd applauds as Quistis, Xu and Nida walk out wearing short skits and tank tops** 

Irvine- Well Hi there lady's hows it going? 

**Xu and Nida begin to speak but Quistis walks out to the front and sings her comment** 

Fine Irvine but...CAN YOU PAY ME GIL! /CAN YOU PAY ME 1 MILLION GIL /CAN YOU PAY ME 2 MILLION GIL!/ I DON'T THINK YOU DO SO YOU AND ME ARE THROUGH! 

**Audience Applauds** 

Irvine- Thats great Quistis. There has been rumors that Quistis is going to go solo, can you clea the rumors here on TBL? 

Quistis- Yeah Carson, because NOW THAT I JUNCTIONED MY GF I'M SO MUCH STRONGER, /THOUGH IT TOOK MY MEMORY AWAY I REMEMBERED HARDER./ SQUALL SAID WE SHOULD STOP JUNCTIONING BUT I WON'T STOP/ AS LONG AS MY WEAPON IS FULLY EQUIPPED THEN I'M ON TOP! / BUT I'M AN INSTUCTOR I JUST CAN'T GIVE UP I'M GON' FIGHT HARDER. 

**Audience Applauds** 

Irvine- Grrrrrrreat, any closing remarks for the fans? 

Quistis- Yeah SAVE THE GAME/ SAVE THE GAME/ WHEN YOU GETTING SLEPPY JUST TURN OFF THE TV AND THE SAVE THE GAME./ SAVE THE GAME/ SAVE THE GAME /WHEN YOU LOSE CARD OR TWO JUST REMEMBER THAT YOU/CAN SAVE THE GAME. 

**Audience Applauds even more as they wave goodbye and exit** 

Irvine- Okay now to Squall for the news...What's happening in music news today? 

Squall- I don't know I'm still trying to answer some of my personal questions. 

Irvine- If you don't got the news why do we pay you? Seifer was right, you should be fired 

Squall-.......Whatever 

Irvine- That's It for TBL toon in tommorow when we have Amber stabs! 

*************************************************************** 

BI (Balamb Infirmary) 

Selphie- So Dr.H, when are the twins due? 

Rinoa- Any day now, If only Squall were here it would be diffrent 

Selphie-**Pats Rinoa's shoulder** He'll come back 

Rinoa- It's just that he seems so distant 

Selphie- We have known that for a while 

**Cuts to the sutcher area where Dr.Kinneas is mending a childs bruise** 

Irvine- There, all better. Now if you obey your mother you will be out playing baseball like Sammy Sosa in no time. And then maybe your mom will have more time on her hands for...other things**He smiles keenly to the sexy single mom of the injured child** 

**Rajin sits in the supply closet in his janitorial uniform and pops morphine pills** 

**Quistis walks around with a krutch ordering people around** 

Quistis- Where the hell is a good damn janitor we have a god damn mess here! 

**Dr, Almasy, chief of surgery with his assistant nurse Fujin performs tripple bypass heart surgery on an overwheight ailing Ward** 

Seifer- WIPE! 

Fujin-**Wipes Seifer's brow and smiles to him, full of admiration**Dr, Your so talented. 

Seifer- I know Nurse Fujin. I know. Don't I have to fly to india to do a charity surgery for a sick child in Bombay? 

Fujin- No Dr.Almasy, that's next Wednesday. Tonight you have to sponsor a charity event for Moombas without Morals. 

***************************************************************** 

MORE TO COME!..POSSIBLY 


	2. Sex and The Garden..

Sex and the Garden  
(Aurthors note*I think it is time for Selphie to come out of her shell* And this may be a little long, I'm just focusing on this parody for this chapter.)  
**Selphie sits at her laptop typing her diary column and her voice is heard reading it alod as she types**  
Selphie-This week had been a very, rather exiting one for me and the girls I just came back from lunch and heard a whole synopsis of what had happend. Sex is all over the garden, even though it states in Sec.456 base number rule 4.34567 that relations between garden students and faculty are severly permitted. But it doesn't include anything about SeeDs so I have decided that this rule does not apply to me. Or any other of my fellow SeeDs. How do I know where the rule is you may ask. Let's just say I have had a very private meeting with one of the leaders of Balamb disciplinary comitee. I was a very,very naughty girl.  
**Selphie flashbacks to her lunch in the cafeteria earlier that day, she sits with Rinoa, Quistis and Xu at a lunch table talking.**  
Rinoa- I don't know about you guys but I'm ready to settle down.Squall acts like he just wants to screw me forever.  
Quistis- That can be a good thing Rinoa.  
Rinoa- You guys don't understand, what if he were to go on a mission right now and get killed? That means I would be old an old and saggy single woman.  
Quistis- Yeah, you're right you should get married so if Squall dies...hopefully he'll die. You can be an old and Saggy widow.  
Selphie- That is so cold hearted Quistis.  
Quistis- It's my nature, deal with it.  
Xu- I have a problem....  
Rinoa- It can't be more serious than mine.  
Xu- I don't know.....It's about Zell....  
Quistis- Oh Zell will get over it .Xu.  
Xu- You didn't even hear the problem yet. Zell won't go to first or second, or third base with me. It's like he just stays at the home plate dusting his kleats or something.  
Selphie- are we talking about baseball or sex?  
Quistis- I don't know Zell hasn't tried either one of them.  
Xu- Please you guys, everytime I try to kiss him he dodges me. And when I try to ask him why he is so scared of me he just changes the subject to something like hot dogs.  
Rinoa- Squall was like that.....  
Quistis- Why do you always have to compare every event to Squall?   
Rinoa- Because I'm in love with him and that's what people in love do, they compare every event or thing to the person they love.  
Quistis- That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard.  
Xu- Anyways, what should I do to make him want me?  
Selphie- Dress up in nothing but hot dogs and let him roam like a hungry puppy.  
Quistis- Oh my god, Why did you have to say that, now I have a mental picture of that in my head.  
Rinoa- Come to think of it, Zell never really was interested in girls, I mean the way Irvine or Squall or even Seifer is.  
Selphie- How can you say that? For one Squall never really was interested in girls until you came around Rinoa, and I think he still isn't interested in girls maybe you just need to back off him and give him his space. And Irvine is just a walking prick, if it moves and has breasts then he'll probablly want to screw it. And on Seifer's case....we'll I can't fathom why he is the way he is but you probablly can Quistis because you have screwed him more times than I have. So what Zell is sorta slow when it comes to getting intimate with a girl maybe it's for a damn good reason he's probablly scared of you Xu because you are so busy roaming around the garden devirginizing boys.   
**All the girls looked to Selphie quite shocked**  
Selphie- What? Somebody had to say something.  
Rinoa- If you are implying that my Squall is gay then think again, just because I told you guys that he likes it when we do it...the other way and he told me that he liked flat-chested girls that does not mean that he is gay.  
**Rinoa stands up and runs out of the cafeteria in tears**  
Xu- Look what you did...And I don't devirginze boys, ity's just that the last eight guys I have slept with have been virgins! I have to go meet Zell.  
**Xu got up picking up her tray and walked away from the table, leaving Quistis and Selphie**  
Quistis- You know, Rinoa would have stood her ground if she thought that Squall really wasn't gay. I knew he was gay from the moment he denied my love for him back in the training center. How could anyone deny me? I'm Quistis Trepe. I have about one hundred kids worshipping the ground that I walk on. Seifer was right, Squall is gay, I'm getting all upset even thinking about it. Maybe Rinoa was like his last resort, ya know? Like how some people get into relationships to see if they are really gay? Anyways, how is Irvine?  
Selphie- Irvine is Irvine....chasing girls....using lame ass pickup lines but he is a good person to have as a friend more than as a boyfriend.  
Quistis- No Selphie......how is Irvine?  
Selphie-**She leans in towards Quistis and lowers her voice**...He overrates himself. Our first time it took him about 3 minutes to get off........  
Quistis- OH MY GOD! How sad.....I'm so sorry Selphie, you deserve better......Anyways I have to meet Seifer in the training Center so I'm leaving.  
Selphie- Don't be it's not like I'm not going...other places to get what I need.  
Quistis- So I did teach you something.  
Selphie- Yeah, more than you actually know.  
**They both get up from the table and leave**  
Selphie-So what Rinoa and Nida have some built up anger, they will get over it. As for me I have to get ready to go meet with a certain person to clear up my disciplinary status.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
